During the years we were trying for family, I became devoted to my self care routines. I started my day with meditation, movement, sometimes reading and journaling. I created healing rituals for myself every month and healed my relationship with my body and my period. I drank enough water everyday, ate loads of vegetables, and slept at least 8 hours a night. I took handfuls of supplements (all tailored to me) and also doled them out to my sweet partner. I discovered there were parts of myself I hated, and I worked to love them. I began to mother myself. I came to peace inside myself that my life was complete and whole, whether or not my baby came. I still did all the things to work on my health issues, and I never “gave up” or “stopped trying” (aka, the worst advice anyone ever gave someone trying to conceive). In short, my mindset changed.
We worked with a fertility naturopath to understand why we weren’t getting and staying pregnant. I worked with a mindset coach. I worked with an acupuncturist. We were blessed/lucky/privileged to be able to do all of this. I realized I had this luck early in life and it set me on the path to help others. If you want to read more about me, check my about page.
And then I became a mother.
The first few months of motherhood, we set ourselves up with lots of care. This was also during 2020 pandemic lockdowns, which changed all my expectations of motherhood and community, and deserves its whole own post. Then our care ran out, but we were still able to be home with our baby, and getting unemployment from the pandemic. Then I finally understood what years of massage clients had been telling me, once you have a child even the smallest acts of self care are monumental.
So what have I stuck with now? I hydrate (most days). I eat a varied diet, with whole foods, organic and local foods, and ones we grow. I sometimes remember to take a multi-vitamin and my cod liver oil.
The best and biggest self care move I’ve made on this journey is to stick to my bedtime. I go to bed as soon as I can after my baby is asleep, to make sure that I can get close to the hours I need even if he wakes up in the night, which happens, and happens, and happens….
It’s slowed my business building efforts to a snail’s pace. I creep along, getting one tiny piece done at a time. But progress is being made! When I think about being 70 or 80 and looking back at my life, I think, will I regret taking a year to build my website? BIG NO! Will I regret not spending time with my son, or having adventures with our little family? YES! So whenever I can I prioritize family time, friend time, self care time, and still carve out just enough time for clients – who also come first, before website creation, before email workflows and opt-ins.
Fertility self care and mindset is no joke. Motherhood is no joke. It CAN be funny, and can be fun, but it’s also a huge struggle and loads of people can’t access any kind of support beyond their insurance. Meditation is a simple resource that can have profound impacts. It’s free. You can use a free app like Insight or get a book from the library. Will it get you pregnant? I don’t know. But if you stick with it, will it help your mindset? My guess is yes, and I hope you try it.